Jud heard the incessant ringing of the alarm clock at his bedside. It was five thirty in the morning. It was still dark inside the room. His bed was empty. He could smell the faint aroma of coffee coming from the kitchen.

The bed was empty and cold. Sometime during the night Rachel had gotten out of bed and crept into the other room. She was six months pregnant, almost seven. She was still as beautiful as she was the day they were married.

Their marriage had started of strong. They had been dedicated to each other. They had shared the same dreams and the same passions about life. Their marriage was built on trust and faith. Faith in God and in each other.

But somewhere along the way they had lost their way, gotten off track. God was no longer the center of their lives. They had tossed him aside, and had practically forgotten his existance. Because of this their marriage was falling apart.

He and Rachel were edging further and further apart from one another. Jud had to admit, he was still very much in love with his wife. She was beautiful. She always had been with her darks eyes that seem to smolder whenever she looked at him. She always carried herself with a self-assured pride. She was feminine and confident in herself as a woman. It showed in every step she took, in every work she spoke. Her voice was often soft and delicate, something like smoothe honey.

She had a way of seeping deep beneath his skin and touching him in the inner most parts of his soul.

Rachel was exquisite. Charming. And loving. Passionate. She had been a good mother so far to their two sons, Samuael and Justin. But even as the strains of their marriage wore on, it was beginning to affect the boys in a negative way.

Jud did not like that at all.

Samuel was the oldest. At seventeen, he was a year away from graduating. He’d been a good student, was always attentive in class, and respectful of his teachers. He was a perfect example for his brother Justin.

Justin was only fourteen, but he looked up to his older brother not only for support, but for love and friendship. The two of them were nearly inseperable. At least they had been until recently.

Samuel had begun to change. The changes were subtle, but nonetheless, they were there. His friends had begun to change, his attitude as well as other noticble things were beginning to change about him. His appearance, the clothes he wore, the way he talked to his mother with such disrespect.

His whole behavior was different, almost as if he resented being born into this household. On more than one occasion, Jud had sat down and tried to talk to his son. But the more he tried to talk and reason with his son, the worse the situation became.

Jud didn’t think his son was doing drugs. But he didn’t have a clue what was bringing about these changes. If Samuel wouldn’t open up and talk to him, how was he suppose to help him.

Jud stretched and sat up in bed. There was an ache to the back of his head. He felt sore and sluggish. His mind was waking slowly. In just an hour he would be dressed and leave for work.

In the meantime, he did not want to leave the solitary comfort of his bed. He wanted to lay there and rehash his life with his family and all the things that seemed to be falling apart.

This left him with a huge ache in the middle of his heart. Jud had always prided himself on being a good, decent father, a reasonable man, a proper husband. He had never asked much of Rachel. She’d always been faithful and dedicated to their marriage. She had stood beside him during all the failures they had seen in thier relationship.

She was unhappy with the pregnancy and had been since the beginning. Judd thought as time wore on that her feelings woul change, that she would grow to love this baby just as she had the other two. But things had not turned out that way. With each passing month, she was growing more irritable and dispondent to him. She talked to him less all the time. It was almost as if their relationship had fully disintegrated in front of their eyes.

Lately she moods were changing abruptly. Her anger more pronounced, and frankly, Judd was getting impatient with it all. Rachel blamed him for the pregnancy, as if he had been the only one to take part in it. Rachel wouldn’t talk to him. No matter how hard he tried to convince her to, she remained silent, her feelings bottled up inside her. He knew very well this was not good. Rachel needed an outlet for her emotions, especially this far along in the pregnancy.

It wasn’t good for the baby. Or for Rachel for that matter.

At last Judd rolled out of bed, and as he planted his feet firmly on the ground, Samuel came bounding into the room. Usually bright and cheerful, his son was subdued, a frown marring his small, round face.

"I fixed breakfast for you dad," Samuel admitted, coming into the room, and plopping down on the bed beside his father. "Mom’s not feeling well. Says she’s tired."

Immediately Judd was off the bed and scurrying quickly to his wife. She was laying flat on her back on the couch in the living room. She seemed a bit pale and tired. She said nothing as Judd knelt down beside her.

He took her hand in his and held it to his lips. His eyes bore into hers, studying her face, her eyes, everything about her.

"What’s the matter, Rach," he asked with a concered whisper. "Do I need to get you to the doctor? I can take the day off?"

Rachel shifted her position to find some comfort. She was having slight contractions, but she didn’t feel there was anything to be alarmed about. She had had the same thing with the other two. It was normal, she was sure of it. With plenty of rest, everything would be alright.

"I’m find, Judd. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. I’m tired is all." Rachel hoped she sounded convincing, but wasn’t sure. She had little confidence in herself anymore. In the beginning of the pregnancy, she had despised Judd for getting her pregnant again. It was the last thing she ever expected or wanted.

She had fought the pregnancy. She felt she was too old to be raising children all over again. But as the months passed, she grew to love the child inside of her. To feel it’s feet and hands squirm inside her belly was joy. So eventually her anger at Judd turned to anger at herself. Anger for having loathed the child before ever giving it a chance.

She knew her husband didn’t understand her feelings and emotions. And she felt guilt for keeping them from him. Judd was a wonderful husband, a great father. He deserved to know the truth. But each time he tried to talk to her, she couldn’t quite find the ability to speak the truth.

Rachel was certain that Judd would never understand her. Never understand her feelings. But in truth, she loved this baby more than anything. In her heart, she knew it was going to be a little girl. A precious daughter. She marvelled at the thought of holding her beautiful daughter in her arms and rocking her to sleep at night.

Judd was still looking at her. It was painful to see the fear and concern in his eyes. Rachel closed her own to avoid the sudden tightening in her throat.

She grasped his hand a little tighter. "Judd, go to work. I’m going to rest. If I need you later, I will call."

She smiled weakly then. It took a few seconds for Judd to come to his feet. He hesitated a moment before letting her hand go. Then he stepped back, staring down at her with a hard, steady gaze, yet, underneath it all was sympathy and compassion.

"Rachel," he pleaded, "I know you are angry at me, but please don’t let that anger, affect the way you take care of yourself. And the baby."

Before she could respond to Judd, he had turned his back on her and was gone.

Rachel felt the warm sting of tears as they rolled down her cheeks. Judd deserved to know the truth. That she wasn’t angry at him any more. That her love her for him and the baby and the entire family had grown by leaps and bounds. Now she was scared. Scared for the safety of her unborn child.

The tears simply rolled down her face without ceasing.